I tracked my heartburn from January 2020 until March 2022. I stopped tracking because that’s when I found out that I never had heartburn.
But for over 2 years, I dutifully tracked my (alleged) heartburn. At this point, I was 3 years into having trouble swallowing foods and waking through the night with heartburn-like pain.
I did all the tests and saw all the specialists, but everything came back normal. My doctor said, “I know you’re uncomfortable, but there’s not much else I can do.” I coped the best way I knew how; I created an iOS shortcut that added a row to a Google spreadsheet to track the date and time of my heartburn. There were charts.

If I couldn’t fix the pain I had with swallowing food and drink then surely I could cure heartburn. I ran experiments to see if my heartburn changed. I tried:
- gluten-free
- low-acid
- no dairy
- no eggs
- no dairy and no eggs
- sleeping on 3″ wedge
- sleeping on 7″ wedge
- spending $300 on an uncomfortable heartburn pillow
- not eating 3 hours before bed
- staying upright for 3 hours after eating
- no caffeine
- every combination of heartburn medications
- nasal sprays
- muscle relaxers
- taking a shot of apple cider vinegar before bed
- acupuncture
When all my experiments failed, I asked my doctor to repeat all the tests. The last (and worst) test proved that I have achalasia, a rare swallowing disorder that impairs the esophagus’s ability to move food and liquid to the stomach. It was never heartburn.
One year ago today, I had surgery to treat achalasia. I now have an esophagus that works much better and this terribly boring data-measuring anecdote.
I was perfectly in control of all the data about my alleged heartburn, without actually being able to control it. My data collection became a strange comfort. A worry stone. Hope.

I did learn a few things on my path to diagnosis:
- Treat every appointment like it’s the first appointment.
- Bring an agenda to appointments.
- Request all medical records, keep them in a binder, and bring it to every appointment.
- Explain symptoms by how they impact your quality of life.
- And, the unfortunate truth, have health insurance, thousands of dollars, and flexible time.
Did you enjoy this post? Support Soul Fire Farm. Soul Fire Farm is committed to ending racism and injustice in the food system.